This being my first post of the new year, I figured I’ll start things off right. I was chatting with my friend @alexaizenberg about some bizarre travel stuff and he said something obvious. Not so much “In your face” obvious, or even “That was stupid” obvious. More of an unspoken truth about travel. We all think it; he said it.
Alex said, “Traveling with kids… NOT looking forward to that.”
So, so true. Mr. Aizenberg nor I have any kids. Not that “We” would have kids. We’re friends. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (#seinfeld). But, as common loves go, we love to travel, and I’m sure I can speak for both of us when I say kids would not stop either of us from doing it.
But why not? I should and do HATE the idea of children on an airplane. Screaming, crying, puking, miserable balls of snot who destroy that last bit of serenity in our already nearly peace-less overpriced floatation devices called Seats. Yes, it is truly that bad. I never feel as anxious as when a baby’s crying pierces through my headphones and isn’t in tune with whatever Beatles album is playing. Sigh. Music education really needs to begin earlier in life.
Lost arts aside, there’s only one solution that makes sense. Stop having children.
Bear with me here…
I don’t mean for Alex or me alone not to have children. No, that would just not be good enough. All of humanity needs to jump on this bandwagon. Children clearly do not fit in with us traveling elite. Excluding them would be unfair. Therefore, they just shouldn’t exist in the first place.
Sure, an entire generation would be lost. But isn’t this what the world needs anyway? The movies (Avatar, The Day the Earth Stood Still, Inconvenient Truth, etc) have been telling me for years that only the human race is to blame for Global Warming and countless other diseases, infestations, and eradications. Who am I to argue with filmmakers? Ahem. (The name of this blog isn’t Buttered Popcorn.) Skipping a generation would not only correct a few of these issues, but would spare many, many millions of potential lives. It also might get James Cameron a Nobel Prize – This is something we can all get behind!
For the sake of travel, people, let’s put some real thought into this. I so wish I could enjoy a flight or two during the holidays. I know you want to as well.
Y’know… On second thought, kids are another seat. It would be hard to pass up the extra miles.
